General Indignities

• I accidentally pronounced palate “pa-LAT” in front of my husband and a friend, the cruelest of people. Their joy was unrestrained, as was my humiliation. It wasn’t as bad as the time I pronounced “archive” with the “ch”, though.
• Despite my being of the size and texture of a beached whale due to the Miracle of Life within my uterus (and bum, and chins, and ankles…), my husband’s evening foot massages have become increasingly lacklustre to the point of them almost not being worth it except I don’t want to let him get out of the habit.
• I discovered a latent library fine of dizzying proportions. The books sit on a shelf at home, taunting me with my own ineptitude to grasp the borrowing concept. So far in life there has not been a library/ video shop/ parking opportunity which hasn’t led to me receiving a fine, and then not paying it until it’s horrifically large.
• I included an emoticon in a work email, but it was not reciprocated. What does it mean? Does the recipient now look down on me as a professional, as a colleague? Was it a power play, a rejection of an informal gesture of goodwill? Do they hate emoticons, and by extension, me, and by extension, everything I stand for? Time will tell.